Never Let Go
by catniphawthorne
Summary: 53 years ago he lost everything, but he never gave up hope, he had always known his time would come, when she was back in his arms for good.


a/n; based on one of my all time fav films! can you guess which one?;3 anyways I've wanted to write this couple for a while now, and then this idea sprang into my head, so here we have it. this is my first glee fic on here so please don't judge too harshly? and don't judge the couple either! I love this couple, they are my fav crackship and I love them, god damn it Blaine's gay and Rachel's in love with Finn! so yeah please enjoy and tell me what you think, also check out my other fics, and I promise more glee fics too come!

song recommendations; catch me- demi lovato (aka voice of a goddess)

* * *

Their hands entwined, his lips brushed against her hair in a silent movement that only she could understand, his thumb rubbed circles on the back of her hand, and she smiled that smile for him; the one he would die a thousand deaths to see over and over. They were the kind of couple you envied, not because they were kissing every two seconds but because the love they had was the silent kind; the love no one could really understand until they felt it. His body was protective over hers, shielding it somewhat, as though he were trying to protect her from some silent demon, she held him as though letting go was not an option and for her it wasn't, it wasn't even a possibility; they were linked, not only by their hands but by the heart; an invisible cord that made sense only to them.

He knew things weren't perfect, she still got bullied at school no matter how many slushies he knocked out of people's hands, he still got upset when he saw her talking to Finn and they argued like any other couple, sometimes until his face was scarlett and she was in tears. Things weren't perfect but they were...right somehow. For every argument they had ten kisses, for every little jealous moment were one hundred happy ones and for every slushie she got thrown in her face, she got a thousand more solos; a chance to show how much she really could shine, which Blaine knew was brighter than the North Star.

The choir room was their sanctuary, they always visited it together; hand in hand. He had sung his first solo to her in that room, pulling her up to the front and whispering in her ear, she had smiled and he had known he would do anything to see her so happy again. She had sung to him before as well, belting out that beautiful voice of hers, the room so quiet you could hear a pin drop. They were the power couple of the choir room, they had been together since the start of Junior year, so just over 1 year and a half, and they were still happy, still very much in love, never to look at anyone else again.

Blaine knew he would give his life for Rachel, he would do anything to keep her by his side and to keep her happy; he was completely and utterly wrapped around her little finger and she knew it. She knew how much of an influence she had over him and yet she seldom used it, she hated when he paid for dinner and they always argued over money, those arguments were only short of course, after a little while he would give in and would promise to stop spending his money on her..of course he always would and she would complain and the cycle would start again. It wasn't really full-blown arguments, just petty little snaps at one another, nothing more and even then they always ended in a kiss, in a smile.

He had known the first moment he had seen her, walking down the halls of McKinley High, he knew in that moment he would never meet anyone like that again. She had shone like a shining star, her golden glow completely masking anyone else in the room; cheerleaders had smiled at him, jocks had jeered at him, geeks had giggled next to him and yet? It had only been her in the room, she had been this beacon of brilliance that no one else could even consider competing with. The first time he had seen a slushie in her face he had wanted to flip, for some reason feeling proud as she simply shrugged it off; retrieving clothes from her locker and heading to the bathroom, as though it were a mere annoyance and not an act of bullying. Of course Blaine had knocked the jock out in French class..just to be sure he wouldn't bother her again.

Rachel was his star, his beautiful stretch of light and he honestly didn't know what he would do without her.

* * *

It had been around the time everything had settled down, he had a full scholarship to NYU to study Medicine and she had nailed her NYADA audition; it looked like they were heading of to New York together, ready to share a shoe box apartment and fall in love all over again in the Big Apple. He had imagined picnics in Central Park, scraping money together to get a back row seat to the an unknown off-Broadway show, huddling together because they couldn't afford central heating for one month. He had been willing to take all the bad, to have basically no money from living costs and to travel half an hour each day to her campus and another forty-five minutes to the 'affordable' apartments they had been looking at. He didn't care that he would be penniless, exhausted and probably starving most of the time, as long he was with her it didn't matter.

But then it had all come crashing down as most things often do.

The words 'sick' didn't seem enough to describe the problem, to describe the crashing down of his life. She had choked out of the words amongst tears and he had been so shocked, so terrified; he hadn't know what to say, he had just held her as the tears gathered in his own eyes and began to streak down his cheeks. Rachel had apologized time and time over among the sobs and he had shook her, whispering it wasn't her fault, knowing it wasn't her fault but not knowing whose fault it was. He didn't know who to blame, he couldn't put a face on sickness, he couldn't scream at some one to stop it, he couldn't face it..he had no way to save her.

Rachel didn't deserve this. She was a model student, she gave back and she had a kind of talent..a talent people would die for and few people had. She was the perfect person, so beautiful and full of light and yet? She was sick, and not just a cough, a cold or a bit of an upset tummy sick...but really sick.

The Doctors called it Leukemia, one simple word for the disease that was ripping his girlfriend away from him. They had told him she had about five months to live, the Leukemia had progressed too far and treatments would be costly and ineffective. The Doctor had been a young women and she had eyes full of sympathy as she explained to them, as she told them that in two months she would be bedridden, most likely unable to walk. Blaine had been the first one to cry, Rachel had been the one hugging him and he had felt like an idiot, moving to hold her close, her head against his chest as the tears began to fall down her cheeks, as he had known they would.

Blaine had been in shock at first, but at her insistence they had carried on as normal, he still took her out on dates and they still spent hours on her sofa cuddling, they attended temple together sitting in the front row holding hands; everything was normal and then? Their two months were up, their time was over, like everything fucking else it had to end, far, far too quickly.

It started small at first: Rachel would get out of breath half way through a solo, and she would often sit down too far into the dance numbers. After two weeks she stopped attending school all together and couldn't even muster the energy to study at home. After a month she kept getting the shivers, after six weeks she had passed out for the first time; Blaine had shook her screaming in terror whilst her Dads had the sense to call the ambulance. After two months she was bedridden, barely able to move, barely able to speak even; Blaine spent hours at her side, simply holding her hand as she cried, holding her hand as she smiled. The last month had gone far too quickly and within three weeks and six days she was gone.

He remembered that day as though it were yesterday, he had fallen asleep next to her, his hand clutching hers from the seat beside her bed, her body laid out in sleep, dressed in her white nightgown; like an angel. He had awoken early as he often did now days, her hand had been far too cold.. her body far too still; within minutes he knew and he was screaming, sobbing over her body, begging her to wake up though he knew it wasn't possible. That moment was the moment Blaine wanted to die, her wanted to just throw himself off the roof or take too many of the tablets next to her bed, he had actually reached for them before the medics and the coroners had been piling in and he knew he couldn't; she would hate him for it, and he would hate himself for it.

For a while he didn't know how to carry on with life, he didn't understand why he would have to continue living, why someone as pure and honest as Rachel could die and why scumbags and criminals were allowed to live..he just didn't get it. He was like a zombie for a month after, barely eating, barely doing anything..he walked through school, he walked through life even too distraught over what had happened. He would see her in everything he did; she would be by his locker smiling, she would be singing at the front of the choir room, giggling in the cafeteria, grinning at the small glee trophy in the photo case, dancing on the stage...a million things that he would never see her do again and a million things he would give his life up to see again.

Blaine wasn't sure what had snapped him back to reality..it might have been Kurt yelling at him day and day out that Rachel wouldn't have wanted this, it may have been the funeral where even the jocks had shown to pass on their apologies, it may have been the goodbye assembly to her..he honestly couldn't pin point when his grief had turned into determination. Determination to carry on as he had promised her, to take everything as he knew she would have wanted him too. He knew moping around and crying himself to sleep at night would be a disappointment for her, she would want to see him living, she would want to see him smiling and laughing with his friends, not glancing past their jokes with a blank expression and a small shrug of his shoulders. He knew he wasn't doing her proud and that made him feel...awful.

He wasn't sure of the moment, but regardless he knew he couldn't become a failure, it was as though Rachel was yelling it from the heavens.

* * *

So he went to NYU, he took his full scholarship and put himself through Med school; the apartment was still crappy, and the central heating didn't work. In winter it was freezing and summer sweltering but he took it, working a part-time job to pay for his books and his train tickets; he saved every penny he had on buying himself a real house, but it wasn't much as most of it went on rent. He walked most places, even after getting mugged (luckily he had about five dollars on him, it had been replacing the bag full of textbooks that really had him starving for a month). He worked his ass to the bone, rarely going out and spending every second studying in central park or in Starbucks, desperately cramming for the exams, desperately trying to prove he could do this, to achieve the dream that had never changed, regardless of everything that had happened.

The day his results had come had been beyond nerve-racking but worth it, he had passed top of his class and had qualified as a paediatrician, a children's Doctor to specialise in cancer; it was almost like he could feel Rachel smiling down at his choice, and soon enough one of the top hospitals in New Orleans had taken him on, making him head of the children's team, allowing him a nice salary and a comfortable apartment; it was a home and it was a life, and something more than he had ever hoped for. He would have stayed in New York but he couldn't, that had been their place not just his and attending Med School had been hard enough, imagining all the things he could have done with Rachel, he had managed to get over it; though he couldn't go anywhere near Broadway.

Three years in New Orleans and he had saved more life's than lost, he was working hard and he was happy for the first time in years; he had even managed to set up a charity fund to help families with children in the hospital; to held them with their medical bills, he figured he had plenty of money he didn't use, why not give some back? He could imagine Rachel squealing at the very idea of it; she would throw her arms around his neck and kiss him on the cheek, calling him amazing and selfless, he could just see her one thousand watt smile, shining like the gold stars she loved so much.

He never got married, he never even dated; he couldn't, every time a girl smiled at him, every time someone gave him their number he just shook his head and spoke the words 'I'm taken' because in Blaine's mind he still was, something as simple as death wouldn't part him from Rachel, he knew he still had her and when his time came he would be with her again, he was more than certain about it, he had never really believed in heaven, and he didn't know if that was where he would go..but regardless he knew he would find Rachel again, it was inevitable.

* * *

Death came to him at the ripe age of 70. He had retired only 10 years earlier and had done charity work ever since; he had never really stopped, hadn't allowed himself too; what else did he have? He had no one's hand to hold, no one to laugh with and yet he didn't resent that, he knew he would get all that, he knew when he saw her again, when he found his Rachel again in the next life, he would get his happiness and his laughter ten fold, when he had his beautiful Rachel back in his arms for good. People say you see a white light when you die, and that was exactly what Blaine saw a brilliant white light, a beautiful beacon of hope as he settled to sleep, never to awake again.

He died in his sleep just as Rachel had, just as peaceful, just as painless.

* * *

Walking forwards, he knew he was here. Looking down at his once again smooth hands he smiled, running then through his thick black hair. He walked forwards, his suit fitted well to his young frame once again. He smiled and nodded at someone; a woman as he walked past her; he wasn't even sure where he was but it didn't matter, all that mattered was that he made it..finally. Again he passed someone else, a man this time who was smiling at him; smiling back he continued onwards, the light growing brighter as he went onwards. He felt young again and he felt strong, as though 50 odd years hadn't passed and he was 17 again, he was the boy he had once been, so full of life.

"Blaine?"

The very sound of her voice had his heart flooding to his chest and hope flaring in his veins. He felt sick in anticipation and felt actual butterfly's fluttering away in his stomach. His ribs felt like cracking, his throat was dry and his hands sweaty, he couldn't believe it and yet it felt so right, so real.

"Rachel?"

That was when he began to run, his eyes searching until he found her in her favorite pink dress, her hair resting on her shoulders, her smile one of utter joy. He scooped her up in seconds, sobs quickly leaving his lips, her own joining his in moments; this was why he had never moved on, this was why he couldn't move on because he knew Rachel had waited for him, waiting for him as he had waited for her. "I never moved on" He spoke under his breath as he placed her down and touched his forehead to hers, his lips brushing her own in a small gesture that felt as a big as the world. His arms were holding her tightly, his strong, young frame clutching at hers, never to let go again.

"I never stopped waiting for you, it's been 53 years, 6 months, 2 weeks and 4 days and I kept waiting, I never left here, just waiting for you" She spoke her eyelashes fluttering as her hands clutched at the lapels of his jacket, her eyes still swimming with tears. "I never stopped waiting for you, never" Again she looked up at him, her beautiful brown eyes gazing into his own, and he knew then the life he had lived hadn't been his, it hadn't really belonged to him; this was his life...right here...right now, with his Rachel, his beloved darling Rachel.

"Shall we?" He spoke and she nodded, as he laced his fingers through hers. They walked forwards with a smile, united as one once again, as their steps followed the path, the light soon consuming the young couple, to take them on for an eternity together.

* * *

oh god that was so sad to write! but what did you guys think? did it tug on your heartstrings? or did it suck? be honest please!  
anyways as always, review m'lovelies!


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